I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Randomize
