I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
