If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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