I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
