Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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