I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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