think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
