who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
