I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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