please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
