Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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