her vagine was all disorganized.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
