I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I have feelings that need drinking.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
