I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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