arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
There was a lot of him and a little penis
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
