onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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