she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
