I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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