My hand turned me down
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
