I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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