i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
