I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Randomize
