i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
