just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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