When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
