Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
