I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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