Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
