My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
