My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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