worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
My ATM looks so different sober.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
