It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
