what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
