3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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