dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
