somebody snuck up and got me drunk
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
