I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
