Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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