would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
