i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
