I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
