It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
