the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
