WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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