I want to have your abortion
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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