i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
