Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
