i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
