addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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