Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
ttyl tear gas
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
