You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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